You Ren Shuo, Shi Jian Ke Yi Rang Ren Wang Ji Yi Xie Shi Qing, Sheng Zhi Shi Yi Xie Wo Men Bu Xiang Wang Ji De Shi Qing… Zhi Shi Wei He Shi Jian Hai Shi Wu Fa Mo Qu Wo Dui Ni De Yi Qie Si Xu…?
Fang Qi had been wandering around aimlessly after leaving the café. No matter how hard she tried to push thoughts of Wei Lian out of her mind, she failed miserably. And worst of all, she had subconsciously wandered into Daysprings Shopping Mall. She still remembered the day Jason and her met Wei Lian and Cherie there.
"Rum and raisin!"
"Wah, you also like rum and raisin ah? Wei Lian also loves it leh!" Cherie chirped, hooking her arm into his.
"Don't know what's so nice about rum and raisin. I think only the two of you know how to appreciate lor." Jason said, shaking his head.
She remembered his expressionless look when he heard Jason fussing over her. She remembered how close Cherie was to him. She remembered how he had reached out to hold her instead of Cherie when the group of rowdy boys came charging into them. She had felt a silly sense of hope. Maybe he did have feelings for her. But now, she realized, all the while, she has been thinking too much. She knew what she felt is one-sided but she allowed herself to fall deeper. She smiled bitterly to herself through her tears. She has been so silly.
Tears welled in her eyes as she recalled Wei Lian’s moving vocals at the café just now. The lyrics of the song had touched her. In fact, she has never heard him sing in front of her before. But this is not the first time she was really listening to him sing. She stared at the song playing in her hand phone. At the beach house, he always hid from her when he was singing.
Iya, you don’t come and disturb me la!” He had warned her.
“Why? I want to hear cannot meh?” She had insisted on pushing the “Play” button on his portable CD player.
“Eh! You don’t touch my CD player!” He shrieked with displeasure.
“Ya what, what?! You wrote songs but don’t dare to let people hear ah?” She pressed down the “Play” button on his CD player. And immediately, he swept the CD player off the top of the cupboard with tremendous anger and walked out of the house. The CD player flap loosened, and there, lying on the floor, was a scratched piece of unlabeled CD.
It was moments later that she bent down to pick the CD up from the floor. She slotted it back into the damaged player and press “Play”. The track skipped on and off as the CD was scratched and the CD player damaged. But nevertheless, she still managed to hear a beautifully written song. For Cherie. She heard him saying at the end of the song. Then, she kept away the broken player and….the CD.
She sat down on the stairs in one corner of the concourse area. She held her handphone in her hands sadly. Cherie’s song was on “play in the background” function. Yes. She had converted the music clip into an MP3 audio file on her handphone. She held the handphone close to her heart. She doesn’t know the title of the song. But she clearly heard his feelings for Cherie. She has never heard this song on the radio. She wondered if it was specially penned for Cherie. Then she heard herself chiding inside her silently. Obviously it’s a song he wrote it for Cherie. If not, why would he be so angry and swept the CD player off the cupboard with such strength? He didn’t even care that it almost hit her legs.
Can he also sing her a song? Pain overwhelmed her. She could only hear his voice through Cherie’s song. The scene at the café just now ran vividly in her mind. The songs he wrote are always for Cherie. Is that going to be the only way to hear his voice from now on? She thought sadly.
"Wah, mister, why are you looking more miserable than the other guy who loves the girl? Actually it is you who love the girl a lot right?" she remembered the first time her gaze fell upon Wei Lian. She remembered the look of tremendous pain in his eyes from a brief glance. She remembered him standing up awkwardly and wanted to get out of the café hurriedly and she had overturned his glass of drink and Jason demanding an apology from her.
"Wei Lian, eh, you okay?" Jason passed him some tissues. "I ya, okay la, nothing much la." She remembered Wei Lian saying as he wiped away the drops of cold milk tea on his hand
"Eat lay, waiting for what? Waiting for dinnertime ah? Now only three plus in the afternoon la, you later then eat ah? Don’t tell me I must feed you lor." She remembered that cold morning she had sneaked out of her own house and barged into Wei Lian’s house.
"I ya I tell you already what. I wont disturb you one what. I just don’t want to go home cannot is it?" She remembered the irritated look on his face.
"You don’t happen to be running away from loan sharks do you?" She remembered him asking straightforwardly.
"Eh, can you don't be so rough a not? You behave like a boy you know." He has dissed her directly.
"Eh, you don't keep on eh, eh, eh me can a not? You don't know my name meh?" He doesn’t know her name meh? Tong didn’t tell him? Cannot be la.
"Huh? Why should I know what is your name lay? You also eh, eh, eh me what." What a brute.
"I also eh, eh, eh you because I don't remember what." Wei Lian threw her words back at her.
"Eh, this girl is the one you love is it?" She remembered asking, purposely wanting to disturb him. Who ask him to always put on an expressionless face?
"Cherie is the girl you like ah?" She hates it when she asks so many questions and there is no response. It's like talking to the wall. She remembered the look of pain that flashed across his face.
"If I can’t make you change, my name is not Tan Wei Lian!" he proclaimed loudly when they were at his house.
"Hi dearie!" She remembered his awkward reaction when she hugged him at his waist and his shocked, blushing red-hot face when she planted a kiss on his lips for the first time. She laughed. Huh??!! Oei! His face had blushed furiously and he quickly brushed away the hands that hugged around his waist and chided her.
"I yo! Can you don't anyhow hug a not?"
"Why cannot lay? Got your favorite baked potato and roasted chicken wings leh….” She remembered retorting back in a sweet tone.
She also remembered de-boning his favorite chicken wings to chicken shreds; mashed his baked potato into a gooey mush and stirred in a lot of chili sauce to prevent him from enjoying his food. What the hell is this??! His tongue felt hot chili sauce and mush. She remembered his facial expression change as he indifferently swallowed the glob of gooey mess.
"Eh, enough la, enough la! Jake’s not here what, you want to kiss for who to see?!" She remembered the way he chided her when she teased him.
"I ya I big sacrifice leh. Now we kissed, I am yours leh." She remembered joking and poking him.
"Issit? I'm not so easy one lor. Want to win my heart, the girl has to put in a lot of effort one." He sniggered and turned away from her.
"I ya I’m so cute, you cannot resist me la."
"Wah, you say yourself cute one ah. I never say. You cute meh? You bluff me I also won't know. You can also say you are very beautiful what."
"Oei!! You don't purposely personal attack can or not?"
"I where dare to la? You want to quarrel, I grant your wish only mah."
"You are not gentle at all. Talk like a brute."
"Ya thank you. I never said I am a gentleman. I can be a gentleman, but got to see whether I want or not first lor."
"Eh! You can don't anyhow touch me anot?" Wei Lian brushes off the hands with irritation. Her fingernail accidentally scratched his chest as he tried on a shirt.
"Iya, this size can la, why must you keep measuring?" Wei Lian's irritated voice sounded again. Hearing no reply from her, Wei Lian asked again impatiently.
"Eh! This size can la. Big a bit okay la! Oei, I talking to you." He tried to listen for a response before he realized that he was talking to the air.
"Wait la! This material wash liao also don't know will shrink or not. Buy this size if shrink then you wear liao look like dumpling la. If buy bigger then never shrink, you will look like wearing pyjamas you know??"
"Iyo, you very troublesome, buy one shirt also must think so much. The most I don't wash la, then won't shrink lor." He had gotten a big stinging slap on his arm for rebutting her with that. What kind of crap reason is that?
“You are a coffee addict la! You crazy ah? Every time pour two packets of coffee powder mix, you got any idea how thick the coffee is or not?! You can go sleep or not? Drink so much coffee, later you make a din in the house in the middle of the night again la!” His irritated voice sounded throughout the house as she served him coffee.
"You my boyfriend mah. Of course you do for me la. You know massage one what, I don’t know leh!" She told him that day when they were at Ah Ma’s house. Ah Ma had asked her to give her a massage on the shoulders. She remembered his baffled face when she used it as her frequent retort that afternoon.
“Eh you come out can or not? I want to brush my teeth! You have been inside for almost two hours! You come out!!” She remembered his impatient bellow as he banged his fist on the bathroom door.
"Eh. Irritating la. Why the chili sauce doesn't come out? Then how I eat my fried eggs??" She had glared at the bottle of chili sauce angrily and complained in her loud voice.
"This bottle is new la. You got to........." Wei Lian's voice trailed off from the sudden shock he got when he heard a loud crash and bits of glasses cracking apart.
"I ya like that la, can liao lor. So easy. Ya, what you want to say?" She cut off Wei Lian’s words.
“Eh. You can use a bowl to pour out the canned fruits or not? You very lazy la."
“Can you don’t slurp your drink? Irritating la!” She remembered his annoyed face.
She remembered her fingers holding onto his hand weakly and his awkward concern at the hospital, "Eh. Okay or not? How come like that?"
"Err, oh! I’m selling some small bears for charity. The proceeds will go to the Children's Society. Five dollars each only."
"Buy one la Wei Lian! Support Fang Qi mah..." She remembered Cherie nudging him playfully. Wei Lian had promptly reached into his jeans pocket for his wallet and dug out a five-dollar note.
"Ok lor, give me one." He offered.
"Let's go, we're late." She watched him gently held onto Cherie's arm. He can't stand me, she had thought sadly.
She remembered watching Wei Lian and Cherie walked away from her and again engaging in a nobody-can-interrupt-us conversation. She remembered staring after them. She remembered seeing Cherie playing with the bear Wei Lian just bought from her. She remembered him giving her the bear…..
She remembered everything about him.
From the first time he came into her life to that very night he broke down and chased her away. She recalled all her different methods of irritating him. She didn’t realize they shared so many memories. Wonderful memories. Memories that may have seemed trivial then but meant everything in the world to her now.
Fang Qi looked up around her and discovered the blurred sight before her. She is crying again. How many times has she cried since she left and came back? Countless times. She knew she cried countless times. She could no longer keep track, she discovered, as she wiped off her tears with the back of her hand.
Suddenly, the bustling crowd caught her eye as they walked past her, throwing her curious glances. But she wasn’t in the mood to pick a quarrel. Suddenly she smirked to herself. Ever since she knew Wei Lian, she has tamed her own temper bit by bit, except in front of him. She hasn’t purposely picked a fight with anyone in a very long while.
She scanned the crowd around the concourse area. Everyone was either in pairs or groups. She was the only one without a companion. And for a very long while, she just allowed herself to slump her back against the metal railing of the stairs. Till she didn’t know how long she has been sitting down there.
Suddenly she had a craving for rum and raisin ice cream. She finally got up and dragged herself slowly towards the ice cream booth she and Wei Lian had patronized the last time they met. “Excuse me, can I have rum and raisin please? Double scoop.”
As she placed her order, someone called out from the other side of the ice cream store, “Hello, hello! One rum and raisin please!” Fang Qi froze immediately, her heart thumped furiously. The voice was too familiar. She didn’t need to look over to see who was that. In fact she just wanted to disappear into thin air at this moment. Wei Lian….Her lips mouthed his name silently.